batmanisagatewaydrug:

nycstark:

jxhn-mulaney:

petermaximoff:

petermaximoff:

like whats the average lifespan of an asgardian? like yeah thor is 1500 but what if thats just like 23 in human terms 

googled “asgardian lifespan” found this,

image

so if thor is currently 1500 years old (said in infinity war)

  • 5100/1500 = 3.4

so thors current age times 3.4 would be the average lifespan of an asgardian

to change that to human terms the average lifespan of a human is about 80 so

  • 80/3.4 
image

lsdmkfgjdfjsd oh my God… 

thor really out here having the worst time of his life and hes like 23

thor ain’t special, we’re all out here having the worst time of our life at 23

so out of curiosity i went to loki’s wiki and looked up his age and it says he’s about 1052-1053 so i did the same math

  • 5100/1052 = 4.85

then to change to human terms

  • 80/4.85 = 16.4948

LOKI WAS 16 THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME

you say that like it doesn’t explain every goddamn thing about Loki

lullabyknell:

I kinda like to imagine what it would be like if it just… did not occur to Loki that Hela was gonna be genuinely evil about taking over Asgard. Anywhere else, sure, fine, he doesn’t care, but that’s not what you do with Asgard. 

(Of course, on one hand, it absolutely did occur to him, he’s cowardly in many ways but not ignorant. On the other hand, following this thought thread for the pure amusement of it, Hela basically seemed to be the sincerely evil conqueror this chaotic neutral dandy been trying to be for the past few years but better, he would absolutely throw a fit and not think about it.) 

Like, Loki landed on trash planet and was like, “Welp, I have been sorely, embarrassingly outmatched by a sibling I never knew I had, who is me but better at it. I live here in this trash heap now. I’m going to become the kept floozy of a madman until I murder him and also get smashed at 8 am for the rest of my millennia-long life while wallowing in my misery.” 

Then Thor shows up and is like, “Loki, get your ass out of someone else’s bed, we need to go back and save Asgard from our villainous sister.” 

Loki’s desperately like, “Uh no, you embarrassed me in front of everyone? I would kill everyone in this room and then myself before I ever went back to Asgard now. Go away. I’m plotting to rule this trash heap, where I now live.” 

And Thor replies, “It suits you perfectly. One problem. Our ‘villainous’ sister’s usurpation of the throne involves actually killing our people. She didn’t take over Asgard just to build great golden statues of herself, flirt with the entire court, eat grapes languidly, drink of all Dad’s good booze, and watch glorifying plays about herself while wearing Dad’s fanciest bathrobes. She’s not like you. She’s actually killing our people.” 

And Loki’s just… completely flabbergasted, despite the fact that Hela’s first action was to make a very good go at trying to kill them both (completely normal thing to do in the Asgardian royal family, really). 

Loki: “…She’s what?” 

tanoraqui:

taranoire:

toomanylokifeels:

Sometimes I’m just sitting here minding my own business and then I remember that Thor specifically entrusted Loki with placing Surtur’s crown on the fire to initiate Ragnarok and I tear up a little bit because that’s how you love and support your chaotic neutral sibling. 

Thor: I know what’ll cheer you up. 🙂
Loki: What’s that?
Thor: You wanna trigger the apocalypse with me for the good of Asgard?
Loki: !!!!!!!!

my favorite part is that nobody questioned Loki surviving that experience. Thor sent him in there with the comfortable confidence of Loki’s cockroach-like ability to cause the apocalypse and sneak out before it got bad, Loki didn’t try to pretend that this was dangerous, absolutely nobody ever commented…